


Loving Petals

by tomorrowxbangtan



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Broken, Bullying, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Hospital, Light Angst, Loss of Trust, Love, Love Stories, Mentions of Death, Multi, Nurses, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Promise, Unrequited Love, dying, heartbrake, highschool, please, purple tulips, scared, taegyu, trust me - Freeform, txt, yellow carnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-01-16 10:55:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21269894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomorrowxbangtan/pseuds/tomorrowxbangtan
Summary: Where unrequited love can take your breath but instead replace it with a beautiful flower which causes you to wither away...Where the connection of souls are targeted by a dark force seeking to pull the strings of faith to erase tomorrow forever—Or: where Beomgyu falls in love with Yeonjun only to receive Hanahaki with it. Through this sickness he meets Taehyun, a boy with the same sickness. Together they learns the story behind their Hanahaki and the disturbing truth that comes with it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
This is my first time posting here on archive🤭  
I’ll try to describe Hanahaki a little short for those who aren’t familiar with it:
> 
> Hanahaki is a rare decease that is caused by unrequited love. This decease causes a flower to grow in the deceased lungs. The closer the deceased is to the one they love the worse it gets. There is no medicine against it except for falling out of love (which is almost impossible) or surgery. But by taking the surgery all memories of the one you love disappears with it as well as all your emotions. If nothing is done the flower will continue to grow until the deceased suffocates from it.
> 
> I hope you’ll like this book🤗  
This first chapter is more like a introduction to the whole story but I hope you’ll enjoy it🙃

_Flowers was something that was used to bring joy. On your wedding day it's what the bride carries in her delicate hands towards the world of marriage. It's what you give to the one you love on Valentines day but also what you put on a loved ones grave._

_Flowers could have many different meanings, but to one boy it only brought him sadness._

Beomgyu used to love flowers. He would sit under the big tree in the city park looking at the blooming flowers in early summer. His mom even owned a flower shop along with his dad. But one day would come to change it all...

The school-bell rung as all students runs out of school. Beomgyu on the other hand is peacefully sitting by his desk looking out through the window.

"Yah! Beomgyu!" A loud voice echoes against the walls. Beomgyu blinks a couple of times before turning his head around. Only to regret it directly afterwards.

Standing right in front of him were no one but his upperclassmen Wooyoung and Yeosang. He immediately turns his face away from the older guys staring at him.

"Yah! Who told you to turn around loser!" Wooyoung raises his voice making the younger shiver in his seat.

Beomgyu keeps staring out the window not sparing his upperclassmen a glance. He knows that if he do, they'll do something. Instead he chooses to ignore them and hope for them to go away.

"Yah!" Yeosang yanks his head backwards by his hair, causing the younger boy to groan from the sudden pain. "What have I told you about disobeying huh?!" Yeosang asks pulling a bit more on Beomgyus hair.

The younger closes his eyes not willing to answers the older ones question.

"Answer!" Wooyoung commands.

"_Never disobey or it'll be consequences..._" Beomgyu answers quietly, only now realizing that all teachers have gone home and he's alone with these guys. The fact scares him a bit to be honest.

"Good boy, now what do you think will happen?" Yeosang asks.

Beomgyu swallows hard.

"_Please don-_" his fragile voice is cut off by a rather high one.

"Hey! What are you guys doing!?" The boy runs up to them making Yeosang let go off the youngers head.

"Class pres, uhm we were just playing around you know?" Wooyoung cheapishly laughes. "Yeah Yeonjun nothing's going on here, right Beomgyu?" Yeosang says turning his head towards the younger.

Beomgyu looks up at the three upperclassmen who's currently looking at him. His eyes lands on Yeosang who's glaring threatening at him.

"_Nothing's going on..._" Beomgyus voice trails of at the end as his head falls making his gaze land on the floor this time.

He's scared, scared of what'll happen if this Yeonjun guy figures it out. What his bullies would do to him for not obeying. He's scared.

"Beomgyu was it?" Yeonjun asks earning a nod from the younger. "I know these guys and what they do to people, if they're bothering you please tell me so I can help you. I promise they'll do you no harm" Yeonjuns voice is soft. It's comforting, but Beomgyu is still scared. Scared of those who've made him suffer ever since the start of this semester.

Yeonjun sighs after not getting a answer from the boy. He looks at his classmates as they smirk in delight. "At least look me in the eye" Yeonjun says. But the younger keeps his head hung down. "Pres shouldn't you like, go home?" Wooyoung says playfully.

No, please don't leave me alone with them. The younger boy thinks. "Yeah I'll go now, see you both on Monday okey?" Yeonjun says in defeat as he starts to walk towards the door. But he stops in his tracks.

"Beomgyu look me in the eye. I'm your upperclassman" Yeonjun changes the tone in his voice and it almost comes out like a command. He's facing the younger, waiting for him to lift his head "now".

With that the younger lifts his head and looks at the older. Yeonjuns eyes widen as he looks at the beautiful boy in front of him. His eyes filled with tears and fear. "**_Please don't leave me alone with them_**"

Month's later....

Beomgyu is cheerfully jumping towards the school building. Ever since Yeonjun came in to his life he's become a more cheerful person. Yeonjun would always compliment him for being a good energizer to the older. This made Beomgyu feel happy.

However this day it would all change.

As he walks in to the school building he goes to his locker as usual. He has maths and chemistry as usual too.

When it's time for lunch he cheerfully struts towards the cafeteria and buys himself and his hyung something to eat before running up the stairs to the rooftop.

What he didn't expect to see on the rooftop was Soobin hyung too.

"Hyungs-" he cuts himself off as he sees Yeonjun connecting his lips with the others. Beomgyus eyes widen in shook.

He didn't know he's hyung was gay, well he had thought about it but it never really clicked in his mind.

As he watches his hyungs kissing session he suddenly feels a urgent urge to cough.

He hurriedly closes the door as he starts to cough heavily causing him to drop the food he bought. This didn't bother him tho, the coughing was all he focused on. It's starting to get harder to breath and this scares him.

After a while of coughing something suddenly falls out of Beomgyu mouth. A petal from a yellow carnation, Yeonjuns favorite.

In that moment it clicked for Beomgyu. _I'm in love with Yeonjun._

But with those feelings he also caught something horrible and he knew it clear as day.

**Hanahaki**.


	2. Purple Tulips

As the days passed Beomgyu started to feel weaker and it was starting to get harder to breath. Gym class wasn’t even fun anymore, before Hanahaki he used to love going to the sporthall with his classmates. But now it was becoming a burden.

“Beomgyu-ah!” one of his classmates screams at him, he turns around to see that the game has started again. He sighs as he starts running with his teammates after the round ball rolling on the soccer field. Every step as heavy as the first one.

Not even halfway through the game a familiar figure catches his eyes, but he’s not alone. As the figures comes closer there is no doubts left in Beomgyus head. Standing by the oaktree is Yeonjun, and Soobin. 

Not now… is all Beomgyu can think as he runs off the field.

He runs into the locker rooms restroom and locks the door behind him. As soon as he turns towards the toilet he starts to cough heavily as dozens of petals falls out of his mouth. But it doesn’t end there.

(Stage 2, flowers)

He struggles to cough up something bigger than petals. Soon he throws up a beautiful yellow carnation and tears starts to form in Beomgyus eyes. He’s scared, never did he think his sickness would proceed this fast. No, he thought it was all a dream, a nightmare trapping him from life. But in his hands he’s holding the bright yellow flower that came from his lungs. 

  
  


\--------------------------------

After much thinking, he’s now sitting in the white waiting room of the hospital he’s about to registrate to. Beomgyu didn’t want this, no he refused to have people take pity on him. But seeing Yeonjun every day only made his sickness worse, it was even harder to breath now and he knows, that he’s close to the end. 

But if there was even one single string of hope left for him by getting help here, he’d take it. His death didn’t matter to others but he knows that Yeonjun and Soobin never will be able to live happily if Yeonjun had his best friends death on his shoulders. 

Well, Beomgyu would never tell Yeonjun the reason for why he’s admitted to the hospital tho, it wasn’t Yeonjuns fault it’s Beomgyus or at least, that’s what he’s told himself. 

“Choi Beomgyu” a woman calls. Beomgyu stands up, trying real hard not to stumble too much. He walks over to the lady and immediately regrets coming here in the first place. Her beautiful blue eyes are filled with pity for the younger boy. 

“Come with me please” she says as she turns around to walk towards their destination. Beomgyu tries his best to keep up with the lady, he hates it. Why does he have to feel this weak? Is all that floods his mind. 

“In here please” the lady gestures for him to enter. He nods as he walks in to the room. The walls just as bright white as the other. The air smells like disinfectant and it’s cold. 

He sits down in one of the chairs immediately as he feels the dizziness becoming too much. 

“Do you want some water?” the nurse asks. “I’m fine, but thanks” he says quietly. A side effect of being weak, your voice gradually disappear. She nods and sits down behind her desk.

“So, how long have you been experiencing trouble breathing Mr Choi?” she asks while grabbing a pen to scribble in her book.

“A couple of weeks” he says fiddling with his hands, nervous.

“That’s a pretty long time don’t you think? Why didn’t you come here sooner?” she asks a bit concerned.

Beomgyu keeps his gaze locked on the floor.

“I-” he says as his voice breaks. He should never have come here…

He gets up and runs out the room as tears brims in his eyes. The nurse is calling for him, but he’s already decided to go. 

Running down the corridor he doesn’t look where he’s going and manages to falls down on the floor. He breathes heavily as he tries to get up, that’s when he feels the petals in his throat. Coughing vigorously he feels a warm hand rubbing his back. But he can’t focus on that yet, all he cares about now is to get those petals out and breath. 

One after another the delicate yellow petals falls on the floor creating a messy pile. 

A few minutes later he feels it easier to breath again, and that’s when his mind starts to focus on the warm hand on his back. He turns his head around to be met by a handsome boy his ages with big beautiful eyes. 

“T-thanks” Beomgyu stutters to say, nobody have ever seen him cough up the petals before. This put Beomgyu in a uncomfortable position. 

“It’s alright, but why did you run away from the head nurses office?” the boy asks. Beomgyu hesitates to answer, but something about the caring gaze in the boys eyes makes him loosen up a bit.

“I, I don’t want people to take pity on me… it was a stupid idea to come here, I’ll die either way” Beomgyu says with his weak voice as tears starts to brim in his eyes once again. The boy doesn’t say anything more, but he wraps his arms around Beomgyu. Catching him a bit off guard but he wraps his arms around the other boy as well. 

After Beomgyu has calmed down a bit the boy separates from the hug. 

“I’m Taehyun by the way” the boy introduces himself at last. 

“I’m Beomgyu” he says back.

“Mr Choi!” 

the voice startles Beomgyu. He looks at the nurse he previously ran away from with careful eyes. 

“Oh, Taehyun what are you doing out of bed? Come on go back, you know you shouldn't be walking around” the nurse says as her eyes catches Taehyuns. He smile innocently and then walks off. 

“Mr Choi, I know this must be very hard to go through and accept but, I’m begging you to stay here. At this rate you won’t make it till the end of this month” The nurse looks at him with worry filling her entire being. He gulps, still unsure.

The nurse's eyes drifts off to the pile of petals lying on the floor as they widen. 

“You haven’t coughed any flower knots yet right?” she asks. Beomgyu looks away telling a obvious ‘yes’ to the nurse. “No blood when coughing yet?” she asks as she tries to calm down a bit. He shakes his head ‘no’. She exhales in relief. 

“Please Mr Choi” she begs. He sighs ‘okey’.

  
  


\-----------------------------

After signing all the papers he’s now officially a patient at this hospital walking towards his room in the blueish gown. “I promise you Mr Choi, I’ll do all I can to prevent the petals from growing” his nurse promises making the younger smile a bit. She knocks on the door to the room earning a “come in” from a familiar voice. 

His nurse opens the door to a big bright room with two beds, and a big window. Non of that caught Beomgyus attention tho, it was all focused on the boy with big beautiful eyes on the bed closest to the door. Soon his eyes drifts off to a bucket beside the boys bed, filled with purple tulips and petals.

“Mr Kang, This is Choi Beomgyu he’ll be your roommate as of today. Mr Choi this is Kang Taehyun” the nurse says gesturing towards the boy that he met in the corridor earlier. 

“It’s nice to meet you again, Choi Beomgyu” Taehyun smiles. Beomgyu smiles back but doesn’t say a word. 

The nurse helps him to the bed and connects him to the monitor that’ll as of today be keeping a extra eye on him.

“If there is anything you need just push the red button” she smiles as she walks out the room, shutting the door behind her. 

“Hanahaki” Taehyun suddenly says causing Beomgyu to shift his gaze from his hands to Taehyuns big brown eyes. He motions him to go on. “I have it too” Taehyun says with a weak sad smile. “Who?” is all that comes to Beomgyus mind and without think he spits the word out, just loud enough for Taehyun to hear. 

“Who? Ah, you mean who I fell for?” Taehyun says, he weakly smiles as he looks down on his fiddling hands. 

“He was my best friend for 10 years, we grew up together. Somewhere along the way I caught feelings for him, but he’s straight and has a beautiful girlfriend” Taehyun says. “How long?” Beomgyu asks. 

“It’s been 3 months since I coughed up the first petal, I don’t know how I’m even alive tho” Taehyun chuckles. “How about you, who?” Taehyun says turning his gaze towards Beomgyu whose eyes are filled with tears of pity. “Don’t feel sorry for me Beomgyu, wait how old are you?” Taehyun asks. “18” 

“Ah, then I’m younger, 17 ” Taehyun smiles brightly, which soon falters when he asks once again “who?”

Beomgyu is quiet for a while contemplating. He has never talked about his feelings for Yeonjun to anyone before. Once again he looks into Taehyuns eyes.

“You can’t judge me okay?” Beomgyu says with a small smile. Taehyun nods ‘of course’.

“I used to be,, really bullied and,, some other things that I don’t think I should tell someone who’s younger than me” Beomgyu teases a bit not to make the story too sad. “It went on for half a year, even in that short time a lot of horrible things happened. One day when school ended I was alone in class and those who bullied me approached me, yanked my head towards them and were about to… to do some things” Beomgyu swallows the urge to cry, not now. “I was so scared but then this guy came, he saved me and he protected me. Eventually we became friends and I don’t know when it happened but I caught feelings for him” Beomgyu takes a deep breath before continuing. “Some weeks ago I found out that I was, in fact in love with him…. because I saw him kiss a guy in his class at the rooftop. That’s when I coughed up my first petal” Beomgyu ends feeling the tears fall down on his cheeks. 

Not a word came from Taehyun, not a sound. 

Minutes passed. 

“I’m sorry Beomgyu” Taehyun suddenly speaks.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about Taehyun, I brought this upon myself it’s no one else's fault then my own” Beomgyu says with a sad smile on his small pink lips.

“Hanahaki is no ones fault, it’s horrible but no ones fault. It’s just bad luck” Taehyun says looking concerned at the older. “Maybe it’s just the universe way of throwing away it’s mistakes like me and innocent people like you are affected of it for no reason” Beomgyu says, his face falling numb.

The younger becomes quiet again. That’s until he starts to cough heavily.

Beomgyu shoots his gaze toward Taehyun, worried. The younger coughs up dozens of flowers as tears roll down his cheeks. 

It’s painful.

With no other thought the older jumps out of bed and runs to assist the younger. Bringing the newly emptied bucket up for the younger to hold. The coughing doesn’t stop. Beomgyus eyes widens at the amount of flower knots and petals that comes out of Taehyuns mouth. Taehyun throws up so many petals and knots that he can’t breath. Beomgyu becomes worried of the younger so he hurriedly presses the red button. seconds later a nurse opens the door. As soon as she sees Taehyun she hurries to assist him. 20 minutes and 2 buckets later, Taehyun can finally breathe again. Beomgyu listens to the nurses pleads for Taehyun to get the surgery, but no matter what, the younger still says no. 

Soon the nurse leaves them alone.

“How long?” Beomgyu asks without looking at the younger. “A week at most they say” Taehyun answers, voice weak.

_ One week huh... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys I' so sorry that it took me this long to update the book!!!  
I really didn't think that this much time had passed tbh😅  
I promise to update this as soon as possible!
> 
> DON'T FORGET TO VOTE FOR OUR BOYS IN ALL AWARD SHOWS THAT THEY ARE NOMINATED IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Red Poppy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your napkins ready...

One week.

That's all that the younger had left he said. Two weeks have passed since then; Yeonjun had visited a few times, unsure of what disease his best friend had. Taehyun wasn't doing better, but he wasn't doing worse either.

Two days ago this tall really beautiful girl had come to visit Taehyun. She cried most of the time. Taehyun had later told him that it was his best friends girlfriend, the best friend he had fallen for. Apparently the girlfriend knew, but Kai as the best friend was named, never visited once in all this time. Even though the younger said it was for the best, Beomgyu could clearly see the hurt in his eyes as the words left his delicate pink lips.

The boys helped each other every now and then when it was hard to cough up the petals and knots. They had become pretty close in just two weeks, but for a hanahaki diseased person, every day felt like a year.

"Beomgyu!" Taehyun smiles brightly at the older as he came back from his check up. Beomgyu smiles back at him. "Any good news?" the older asks as he put down his phone he had been messaging his classmates on since the younger left for his check up.

"Nothing new except," Taehyun smiles mischievously "the petals have decreased 2%!" The younger squeals with a big bright smile. Beomgyu smiles happily for the younger; this meant he was starting to maybe fall out of love with his friend Kai.

"I told you that you'd make it against hanahaki didn't I" Beomgyu teases, he told him that every day. That Taehyun is stronger than to let these petals be the end of him. "I'm not healthy just yet." He pouts at being teased which makes Beomgyu laugh.

Bad Idea.

He suddenly starts to cough hard. Taehyun rushes to his side and holds the bucket for him. Dozens of beautiful petals starts to fall to the bottom of the metal bucket. Soon, some flower knots fall as well. Tears are streaming down his cheeks.

In the beginning coughing up petals didn't hurt much, but now it was really painful. The knots kept on tearing up his throat. He knows, it's not long until he'll start coughing up blood.

A few moments later and the older can finally breathe again.

"What did the nurses say?" Taehyun asks, concern written over his face. Beomgyu sighs "The petals have increased with 20%, the hanahaki in my lungs are currently at 68%" Beomgyu says as he hears the younger gasp. "The nurses keeps on telling me to get the surgery, but I don't know" Beomgyu says letting his head fall.

"Why didn't you want to get the surgery Taehyun?" Beomgyu perks up, locking eyes with the younger who smiles sadly at him.

"No one told you about the consequences of getting the surgery right?" Taehyun says as he takes a seat on his bed facing the older. Beomgyu slightly shakes his head 'no'.

"Once you get the surgery, along with the petals, all your memories of the one you fell for disappear. If that's not enough for you, you'll lose all your emotions, and basically live like a soul trapped in a body, not able to smile or cry. You become dead but keep on living, I'd call it." Taehyun sighs "No matter how much I'd like for this sickness to disappear, I love him too much to choose to forget it. If I can choose to live but be dead, or die with my feelings for him in my mind, I'd rather remember him." he says.

Realization hits Beomgyu at this moment, no way in hell would he choose life before all his memories with Yeonjun. Taehyun's right, better to die and know what love is than live but forget. Sadness fills the boy. This is how he'll die, huh?

"Have you told him?" Taehyun asks, trying to change the subject. "Told who what?" the older asks, confused, as a response to his question. "Have you told Yeonjun about your diagnosis?" Taehyun clarifies.

Beomgyus eyes widen.

No.

Nope.

There's no way.

He'd never!

"No, I don't think I will either," Beomgyu says. Taehyun nods at the answer.

\----------------------------------------

Evening comes as the boys accept the food placed before them. Taehyun was worried about the older; he had seen him cry every time he'd excused himself to go to the bathroom. He knew that Beomgyu wanted to keep this strong facade; he had been there himself, but he also didn't know how this situation affected him. Their stories were very different, and Taehyun couldn't help but worry.

"Taehyun?" Beomgyu breaks the silence.

The younger blinks a couple of times and realizes that he had been staring at the plate in his lap. "Oh, sorry" Taehyun said as he shoved a spoon into his mouth. Recently, he hadn't felt that hungry.

"You can't skip your meals Taehyun, you promised" Beomgyu pouts, scolding him.

He had indeed.

A while back he had skipped his meals, lying that he had already eaten or that his throat ached too much. Beomgyu, however, had seen through those lies and confronted him. The younger had then opened up that he didn't know why he was like that. He had later promised the older to never skip his meals again.

Taehyun nods as he shoves the spoon in to his mouth, forcing the food down.

"Taehyun?" Beomgyu asks, concerned. The younger looks at him, motioning him to continue.

The older swallows hard.

"How are you really? Please don't lie to me..." his words trail off.

Taehyun stops eating. Yeah, how did he feel?

Unconscious tears start to fall down his cheeks, to the bed sheets far below. "Taehyun..." Beomgyu says, seeing the youngers tears. That was new.

Taehyun turns his head towards the older, tears filling his eyes. He shows a weak smile "I don't know".

That's when he breaks down.

All this time Taehyun thought he was fine with this, that it didn't matter much, but, he's scared. So scared of his own body, of knowing that he has this disease. He's scared of dying.

He's scared of being forgotten.

Kai has still never visited him in the hospital. What if he's forgotten? What if Taehyun wasn't important anymore?

The tears starts to stream down his cheeks. Beomgyu immediately rushes to the younger who instinctively wraps his arms tight around the older, seeking comfort.

"I'm sorry..." Taehyun cries against Beomgyus chest. The older keeps rubbing soft circles on the youngers back. Beomgyu shakes his head lightly, 'no' 'don't be'.

Taehyun had always been that cheerful little squirrel. He always had a big smile on his face telling the older that everything is going to be fine. But right now, right now he is wrapped in Beomgyus arms snuggled against his chest with tears wetting the material on the older clothing. No one knew about the wars and battles Taehyun fought himself. But now Beomgyu knows, he knows that he needs to protect the fragile boy in his arms. No matter his own sickness, Taehyun had still needed to fight this war himself. But not anymore.

Some moments later, the younger had finally stopped crying, and was instead slowly taking deep, shaky breaths. "Taehyun?" Beomgyu asks softly as he gently strokes his hair. The younger nods, face still hidden in the olders chest. Beomgyu lightly chuckles at the cuteness before going back to the subject he was about to bring up.

"Why did you not tell me?" Beomgyu asks, sounding a bit hurt without meaning to, but the emotion comes out without him realizing. The younger shoots his head up, meeting Beomgyus gaze.

Taehyuns eyes are red and puffy from crying but just as beautiful as always. It was something with the youngers eyes that would always make Beomgyu weak.

He realizes after a while of staring at each other's eyes, just how close their faces are.

Beomgyu blushes.

"I didn't tell you because- because I didn't know..." Taehyuns voice trails off as he averts his gaze from Beomgyus eyes, letting it fall down. "Wha-" Taehyun cuts him off. "I, I didn't realize how scared I was Beomgyu... I'm scared of dying, I'm scared that Kai has forgotten about me, I'm scared that I'll never see my parents again, I'm scared of disappearing, I'm scared of-" Taehyun doesn't finish the sentence as he feels himself being pulled to something warm. His face is once again resting against the older's chest. He feels Beomgyus soft hands stroking his brown hair, and hears his heartbeat.

"It's okay Taehyun, I'm scared too... but you'll always have me, and I'll never forget you, okey?" Beomgyu speaks warmly.

Tears starts to brim in Taehyuns eyes once again and he grabs the older's gown, pulling it against him.

Beomgyu hears the gentle sobs coming from Taehyun, "I promise you, I'll always stand by your side".

The younger sobs louder, "I'm just so scared Beomgyu".

It breaks the olders heart to hear Taehyuns beautiful voice break so many times in just one sentence. He pulls the younger close to him.

"I promise I'll never leave you." Beomgyu says as his own tears start to fall.

"I'm sorry." the younger sobs.

Beomgyu chuckles sadly. "Why do you keep apologizing? You have done nothing wrong".

It becomes silent for a moment, only the sniffles from the two could be heard.

"I'm sorry..." Taehyun says, his voice raspy from crying.

"Why-" Beomgyu is cut of by soft lips pushed against his own. His eyes widen as he sees the younger in front of him. He doesn't know why, but he returns the kiss.

The younger breaks the kiss, only seconds later.

"I think... I... I think I love you, Beomgyu." Taehyun says.

Just in that moment Taehyun starts to cough but what falls out of the poor boys mouth is no longer a purple tulip. No, once a red petal of a poppy falls out of his mouth tears starts to stream down the older cheeks.

_His favorite..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts!<3  
Also, it’s almost Soobins birthday so here’s me saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOOBIN!  
On my sad story because I can🤪


	4. Blood

The boys separate from each other.

Beomgyu stares at the younger whose lips just touched his own. How? When?

The thoughts circulates in his head as the feeling of guilt fills his being. 

Taehyun loves him?

That can’t be true… but, on the floor lies the red petal of the olders favorite flower, no doubt. 

“Taehyun…” Beomgyu trails off, not sure what he wants to say. I mean what can he say?

Yeah he loves Taehyun, but the purple tulip is still growing fast in his lungs. That confirms once again to him, _he's the cause of Taehyuns new suffering._

Taehyun shakes his head before covering himself under the blankets in his bed. “It’s okay” Taehyun says voice weak, you can almost hear the sad smile forming on his soft innocent lips.

“I’m sorry” Beomgyu whispers as he retreats to his own bed. 

10 minutes passes.

A knock is heard on the door to the room. Beomgyu quickly sits up, knowing very well who hides behind that door. 

The door finally opens and in walks the one and only Choi Yeonjun. He smiles at Beomgyu as he returns the gesture. “How’s my lil buddy doing?” Yeonjun says as he takes a chair to sit on beside Beomgyus bed. “I don’t know” Beomgyu smiles at the older. 

“Aish, these doctors aren’t doing a great job at all. Maybe you should change hospital?” Yeonjun says looking concerned.

A ruffle is heard from Taehyuns side of the room and Beomgyu peeks at him. Their eyes connect. 

The feeling of betrayal and sadness shines brightly in the youngers eyes. _What if his only friend leaves him, he wouldn't right? **He promised...**_

“Yeah, maybe…” Beomgyu says in a low tone, not breaking eye contact with the younger even once.

The youngers eyes widen and a small tear rolls down his cheek. ‘why?’ they younger mouths at him.

Yeah why? 

Beomgyu feels the sting in his heart. He can’t stay here if he knows that Taehyun loves him. When he’s the cause of him having hanahaki for the second(2nd) time. It wouldn’t be fair. Maybe if Beomgyu left, Taehyun would eventually lose the feelings he has for him. Maybe it’s selfish, but the older can’t stand the feeling of knowing that Taehyun is suffering because of him. Taehyun who always looks out for him, Taehyun who's been there for him all this time. He can't do that to him. If only he could love him back, if only he could fall out of love with Yeonjun. If it were that simple. He looks at his best friends eyes filled with concern. The eyes he could get lost in for hours without stopping to blink. The pink lips he would die to have pressed against his own but is not his to have. The slightly messy hair that's been dyed multiple times by the younger that currently is a dark shade of blue, he would like to feel his hair between his finger as he caresses the olders head.   
But again, is not his to touch. Cause Yeonjun loves someone else, that the younger knew all too well as he feels the flowers growing in his lungs daily.   
He wouldn't want it any other way tho, cause Yeonjun is happy and his other hyung, Soobin, is too.

The younger diverts his eyes as he lies down on the bed again. 

“So they still haven’t found a cure for... wait have they found out what you’re suffering from yet?” Yeonjun snaps his head up to look at the younger in front of him. Beomgyus attention is once again directed towards the older. 

“No” he exhales. He hates to lie to Yeonjun, however he’d hate it more if the older found out that Beomgyu is here because of him…

“That’s it! You need to change hospital Gyu, I can’t take it. The feeling that you might leave me is haunting me every day and it would kill me if it were to happen!” Yeonjun says as his voice trails off at the end. His cheerful eyes now turning to shiny teary ones. “Please don’t cry Yeonjun, they did find out that it has something to do with my lungs.” Beomgyu says as he places his hand on the olders cheek. His eyes widen “you said they didn’t know?!” he says, taking a steady grip on the youngers shoulders. 

“Well they don’t… it’s just that I didn’t think it was important..” The younger trails off. 

“Gyu everything about you is important okey? Every little thing, you hear me?” Yeonjun says as he loosens the grip on the youngers shoulders. Beomgyu slightly blushes at the words and nods. He feels the petals tickle in his throat and he struggles to keep them in.

“Are you feeling alright Gyu? You’re kinda pale” Yeonjun says as he lightly brushes his fingers against his forehead. “Dude you’re real warm, maybe I should call the nurse” Yeonjun says. At those words Taehyun is up from his bed and rushing towards Beomgyu. The both olders eyes widen as the younger makes his way towards Beomgyu. 

Taehyun places his delicate hand on Beomgyus forehead as the older watches his eyes grow wide. He leans in towards Beomgyus ear “how many petals?” he whispers. Beomgyu looks away ‘too many’. 

“I think Beomgyu needs to rest” Taehyun turns towards Yeonjun with a apologetic smile. “Oh, yeah of course!” Yeonjun stands up immediately. 

Beomgyu is just about to state his disagreement but Taehyun cuts in again. “I’m sure that Beomgyu will text or call you later” he smiles.

“Yeah, rest well Gyu. I’ll see you soon” the older smiles as he exits the room.

“Why did you send him home?” Beomgyu looks a bit annoyed at the younger. “Cough them up, now.” Taehyun says.

“Taehyun why did-” “I said cough them up NOW” Taehyuns voice is stearn and doesn’t leave any room for discussion. 

Beomgyu nods as Taehyun brings the metal bucket towards his lips. 

He starts to cough, but, nothing comes out.

“Beomgyu cough now-” “I’m trying! They won’t come out!” The older starts to panic. 

He coughs hard, using all his energy to get the petals and knots out but they’re stuck.

The older starts to cry, he’s scared. Panicking the younger presses the button signaling the nurse. 

It only takes a minute for the door to open and nurses rushes towards Beomgyu.

Taehyun steps back as the nurses pulls the older heads backwards. They force the instruments down his throat as the panicking boy gasps for air. 

Taehyun stands frozen in his spot. 

The older fights the instruments shoved down his throat. 

10 minutes later and finally they pull out as Beomgyu starts to throw up petal after petal, knot after knot. Every one of them covered in, blood.

The horror is clear in the youngers eyes. Cause he knows, it's not much time left.

_ Beomgyu is going to die…. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short update guys but I really needed to publish another chapter😅  
Please let me know your thoughts and theories for the next chapter, who knows, maybe I'll take them in to consideration🤷🏼♀️


	5. Thorns

As the nurses comes back with Beomgyu from checkup, Taehyun can see the tear stained cheeks on the olders face. The nurses helps Beomgyu to sit down on his bed and leaves thereafter. 

“So?” Taehyun swallows hard, scared of hearing the words.

It’s quiet for a while. Only their breathing filling the void of sound as the machines beep.

Beomgyu takes a deep shaky breath “92%” he exhales.

All blood disappears from the youngers body at those words. 92%... that means- He gasps and shoots his gaze towards the older.

Beomgyu chuckles sadly “Yeah, 1 week they said”. A small but forced smile forms on the olders lips.

Taehyun can feel the tears start roll down his cheeks. “But, t-they can be wrong right? Like, they was wrong about me? Y-you are not really gonna…” Taehyun starts to speak, talking about whatever he has on his mind. Not knowing if it’s to make Beomgyu feel better or himself.

“Taehyun,” the older bites his lip “I’m going to change hospitals at the end of the week…” he says, voice only in a whisper.

The youngers heart sinks. What?

He can feel himself start to shake. This is not him, he would never show this to anyone. He’s supposed to be the strong one, he HAS to. If he’s weak, who’ll then be strong for the others?

“But-” he’s cut off by the olders words. “I’m not changing because I want to, but, because this hospital can no longer do anything to help me. Yeah, they can slow it down but, not stop it” Beomgyu fiddles with the covers.

The younger thinks, he thinks long and hard. Beomgyu doesn’t want to leave, but he has to. It pains Taehyuns heart but, if there is any possibility to stop those flowers from suffocating him. Whatever that’ll cost, he’s willing to let that happen.

He puts on his best face “Beomgyu, whatever you need to do to be free from this nightmare sickness… please do that. If you were to disappear, I don’t know if I could handle that” Taehyun says a small sad smile on his lips but sincere eyes gazing at the boy he loves. 

If Beomgyu can get cured in the other hospital, even if that means that Taehyun will never see him again. That is still better than him dying a painful death, and losing him for good. 

Yeah, that’s right. It’ll be for the best. 

Taehyun throws the covers over his head as he lay down with his back facing the older. It’s for the best but,   
why does it pain him then?

  
  


\----------------------------------------------------

2 days.

In 2 days Beomgyu will change hospitals.

The two have been spending a lot of time together, however… it’s not the same.

Hanging out, laughing and smiling together but, it feels forced. Like they have to be happy these last days. Taehyuns flowers grow bigger every day, he knows he doesn’t have long left either. But even when he knows, he isn’t scared of death any longer. 

No, what scares him is to lose this. This moment right here when he is talking about whatever nonsense he’d like with Beomgyu. The only person that had ever been able to look at him like he’s more than a unfortunate kid with hanahaki. 

When around Beomgyu he can smile with all of his heart, he can speak his mind without being scared of being shut down and he can laugh, he can laugh like the thought of hundreds of flowers being stuck in his lungs was never there. He feels free.

“Taehyun-ah?” Beomgyu chuckles but the little smile that had crept onto his beautiful thin lips slowly disappears. “Yeah, I know” Taehyun smile sadly.

He knows what Beomgyu is trying to say, what he always tries to say. That he’s sorry, that it’s all his fault, like how much he’ll miss him or how this moment isn’t going to last forever. However, the words have never managed to leave the olders lips. But the truth is clear as day in his eyes, they speak for everything that he feels. 

“I’ll miss you” Beomgyu whispers.

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too” Taehyun smiles once again sadly as he lets a small tear slip from his eye.

“You know, I’ll never blame you for it” Taehyun chuckles as he wipes away another tear. “Taehyun I’m-” but he’s cut off by the younger, “I’ll never blame you for making me the happiest I’ve ever been, for showing me how happiness truly feels like. Yeah, I have to admit that having hanahaki sucks but,” he inhales “but, I’m happy that I’ll forever be reminded of who you are until the day I take my last breath. Hanahaki is not a curse, I know that now. I know cause I get to see a piece of something you love every day” Taehyun smiles. “And without this sickness, I’d never met you right? So if anything, I’m thankful for it. I’m thankful that I’ll die knowing that I’ve met someone that makes me smile with my heart, that give me courage to speak and that makes me feel wanted for who I am. I’m happy that I’ll die of the flower that's protected in your heart” Taehyun finishes. 

But as he looks at Beomgyu, the older is crying. 

Hysterically.

Tears are streaming down his cheeks as he desperately tries to wipe them away. His eyes are shining red as his cheeks are puffy.

Even in this situation Taehyun can’t help but think that older is the most beautiful he’s ever seen him.

“I’m sorry Taehyun, I’m so sorry that I, I-” he breaks down crying again. 

Taehyun knows. 

The younger only looks at the older, scared that a simple touch might break him to bits and pieces. 

No tears are falling down Taehyuns face but a small sad smile is hanging on his lips.

“I’m sorry that I can’t love you!” The older finally manages to say as he grasps the covers tight, shoving it to his face.

The muffled crying fills the void in the room as small, small tears starts to fall down the youngers face.

He knew. 

But when the words left Beomgyus lips, he felt it for the first time.

The words piercing through his heart like arrows.

But he’s okey.

Cause now he knows, he feels and he will die from it.

Like a rose bush, beautiful to the naked eye. Vulnerable. But dangerous to the touch. 

Like love, you are gripping the flower cause of the beauty and the longing to smell the beautiful scent that you only got a hint about from someone else. But as you pluck it from the bush, you feel the sting in your finger from the** thorns** as a warm liquid starts to cover the wound. A wound that no one will see in the future but the small, almost invisible scar is still present where it once cut you. Forever stuck on you, just like that day in your life.

Just like love offers you a beautiful feeling alongside your lover, it cuts a small wound to your heart. It’ll heal, but never truly heal the memory, cause it’ll forever be a part of who you were and what you felt. Cause it’s a part of who you are.

Taehyun is happy that Beomgyu will be treated. But he knows that no matter what happens. His life will forever be locked to death, and the key to unlock it.

**Lies in Beomgyus hands.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and she's back!  
I'm sorry it took so long but school's really been keeping me busy. However it's finally winter break and I've planned on updating a bit more regularly for the time that's left of it!   
So stay tuned!
> 
> Please leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments cause they really make me more inspired to write!!!


	6. Permanent Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trigger warning, this chapter can trigger a lot of self-hate thoughts and contains selfstarving, suicide thoughts and such.  
Please read on your own risk!
> 
> Also, I'm so so sooooo sorry for not updating this book!!!!! I'm back now!

_He's gone._

_He left._

_I'm all alone, again._

Yesterday was the day of Beomgyus' department from this hospital. He's currently in a hospital, a hospital far away, that might save his life, that might bring him his life back. Taehyun however, is not doing too well.

The nurse walks in and to get the, once again, full tray of food.

She looks at the boy seated up on the hospital bed staring out the window big window on the bright white wall. Out on the courtyard where the sun is shining bright, where the ones hanahaki sick Yeji runs towards the arms of her mother. Waiting to finally go back home. To finally be free.

To live.

The nurse sights.

"You need to eat Taehyun, you're not gonna get healthy if you stop eating" she says sadly as the boy keeps staring out the window. "Yeah but I'll never be healthy so what's the purpose in slowing down my pain when I can just get it over with. I should just die, like God wants me to" Taehyun says in a monotonous tone.

The nurse eyes widen as she puts down the tray of food and walks over to the boy on the bed. She sits down on the side of it, earning Taehyuns attention.

He looks at her with red puffy eyes but no emotions displayed in them.

He looks _empty_.

She takes his hand in hers. They are cold from due to the decreased blood flow in them. With a small reassuring smile she says "You will get through this Taehyun, believe in me okay?" she squeezes his hand lightly as she feels the tears sting in her eyes from ones again seeing the emptiness in Taehyuns eyes. She lowers her head as she continues. "I've seen you grow during these months, I've seen the power you fight with every day and the hope you put into those you've had to see close their eyes. The smile you put on their lips even in their last moments" a tear trickle down her cheek. She looks up at Taehyun withe teary eyes "you're so strong Taehyun, I know that you never told them about the pain in your lungs, you never told them about the real procent in your lungs or the fact that your hanahaki is** permanent**... I know it. I've never seen such a strong patient like you in all my years of working here, please Taehyun, please fight a little longer" She begs.

Taehyuns eyes are still empty of emotions but small **tears** start to fall from them.

"Taehyun-" "Thank you Sana" Taehyun says, his voice is raspy just a whisper but she smiles at him, making the corners of Taehyuns lips quirk up a little, not much, but it warms Sana's heart.

"You will survive and you will walk out of those gates one day, and when you do, the most amazing and beautiful boy will stand there, waiting to pull you into his arms. You're worth it Taehyun." Sana lets another tear roll down her cheek as she pulls the younger into a warm heartfelt hug.

Sana was assigned to Taehyuns case the moment he entered the hospital. She's been taking care of him ever since he signed the papers.

The boy had put himself deep inside her heart the moment he had told her his story, the real heartbreaking story of his life, his love story and the moment he had cried as he saw the first petal in his shaking pale palms.

During these past months Sana has been taking care of Taehyun and the younger has safely buried himself in her heart as the younger brother she never had.

She feels the fragile and slim arms of the younger reach around her body as he pulls her closer. She can feel the warm **tears** on her neck as he buries his face in the crook of it. Letting her skin muffle his sobs and whimpers, just like the night that he first spent in the hospital.

"I'm scared" he sniffles.

\---------------------------------------

"These are the pills you'll be from now on, I want to make you aware of the risks taking these pills can bring" the doctor tells the pale boy in front of him.

Beomgyu nods.

"The pills are extremely rare and strong. By taking them you can experience side effects such as nausea, headaches, trouble breathing and in the worse cases, hallucinations and memory loss" Kai, the doctor tells him. Beomgyu lets the information sink in before he nods in understanding.

"You are sure that you want to start this treatment?" Kai asks him. Beomgyu bites his lip while he thinks for a bit.

He's scared of the worse case scenario, but, he broke Taehyuns heart for this. He left the boy that had been his only source of relief and comfort for this.

_**"Yes.**_"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii guys,,, hehe... I would like to start with an apology for the short chapter update and, I never imagined that this story would get this much love and attention as you've all given it! It's sick that it hit over 1k readers in just 5 chapters!? I never really had thought about how to end this book or how to proceed with it, which is probably why it took me this long to update it as well but, with this new comeback (which is amazing as always, but this one was mind blowing) I felt a bit of new inspiration and I hope to start updating this now!
> 
> Please don't be a silent reader, I really love to read your comments and they keep me going and they were actually the main reason why I decided to not discontinue this book, so please comment a lot and tell me your thoughts as the story progresses:)
> 
> I've never ended one of my books before so this'll be kinda exciting for me as well so let''s see where this story will takes us yeah? Let's see eachother again in the next update.
> 
> Up until then I'll leave you with a thought, "permanent hanahaki" so what will happen to Taehyun?
> 
> See you guys in the next update!


	7. Thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The muffled crying fills the void in the room as small, small tears starts to fall down the youngers face.
> 
> He knew.
> 
> But when the words left Beomgyus lips, he felt it for the first time.
> 
> The words piercing through his heart like arrows.
> 
> But he's okey.
> 
> Cause now he knows, he feels and he will die from it.
> 
> Like a rose bush, beautiful to the naked eye. Vulnerable. But dangerous to the touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Napkins is a good decision<3

As the nurses comes back with Beomgyu from checkup, Taehyun can see the tear-stained cheeks on the older one's face. The nurses help Beomgyu to sit down on his bed and leaves thereafter.

"So?" Taehyun swallows hard, scared of hearing the words.

It's quiet for a while. Only their breathing filling the void of sound as the machines beep.

Beomgyu takes a deep shaky breath "92%" he exhales.

All blood disappears from the youngers body at those words. 92%... that means- He gasps and shoots his gaze towards the older.

Beomgyu chuckles sadly "Yeah, 1 week they said". A small but forced smile forms on the olders lips.

Taehyun can feel the tears start roll down his cheeks. "But, t-they can be wrong right? Like, they were wrong about me? Y-you are not really gonna..." Taehyun starts to speak, talking about whatever he has on his mind.

Not knowing if it's to make Beomgyu feel better or himself.

"Taehyun," the older bites his lip "I'm going to change hospitals at the end of the week..." he says, voice only a whisper.

The youngers heart sinks.

_What?_

He can feel himself start to shake. This is not him, he would never show this to anyone. He's supposed to be the strong one, he HAS to. If he's weak, who'll then be strong for the others?

"But-" he's cut off by the olders words. "I'm not changing because I want to, but, because this hospital can no longer do anything to help me. Yeah, they can slow it down but, not stop it" Beomgyu fiddles with the covers.

The younger thinks, he thinks long and hard. Beomgyu doesn't want to leave, but he has to. It pains Taehyuns heart but, if there is any possibility to stop those flowers from suffocating him. Whatever that'll cost, he's willing to let that happen.

He puts on his best face "Beomgyu, whatever you need to do to be free from this nightmare sickness... please do that. If you were to disappear, I don't know if I could handle that" Taehyun says a small sad smile on his lips but sincere eyes gazing at the boy he loves.

If Beomgyu can get cured in the other hospital, even if that means that Taehyun will never see him again. That is still better than him dying a painful death, and losing him for good.

Yeah, that's right. It'll be for the best.

Taehyun throws the covers over his head as he lay down with his back facing the older. It's for the best but,   
why does it pain him then?

\----------------------------------------------------

2 days.

In 2 days Beomgyu will change hospitals.

The two have been spending a lot of time together, however... it's not the same.

Hanging out, laughing and smiling together but, it feels forced. Like they have to be happy these last days. Taehyuns flowers grow bigger every day, he knows he doesn't have long left either. But even when he knows, he isn't scared of death any longer.

No, what scares him is to lose this. This moment right here when he is talking about whatever nonsense he'd like with Beomgyu. The only person that had ever been able to look at him like he's more than a unfortunate kid with hanahaki.

When around Beomgyu he can smile with all of his heart, he can speak his mind without being scared of being shut down and he can laugh, he can laugh like the thought of hundreds of flowers being stuck in his lungs was never there. He feels free.

"Taehyun-ah?" Beomgyu chuckles but the little smile that had crept onto his beautiful thin lips slowly disappears. "Yeah, I know" Taehyun smile sadly.

He knows what Beomgyu is trying to say, what he always tries to say. That he's sorry, that it's all his fault, like how much he'll miss him or how this moment isn't going to last forever. However, the words have never managed to leave the olders lips. But the truth is clear as day in his eyes, they speak for everything that he feels.

"I'll miss you" Beomgyu whispers.

"Yeah, I'll miss you too" Taehyun smiles once again sadly as he lets a small tear slip from his eye.

"You know, I'll never blame you for it" Taehyun chuckles as he wipes away another tear. "Taehyun I'm-" but he's cut off by the younger, "I'll never blame you for making me the happiest I've ever been, for showing me how happiness truly feels like. Yeah, I have to admit that having hanahaki sucks but," he inhales "but, I'm happy that I'll forever be reminded of who you are until the day I take my last breath. Hanahaki is not a curse, I know that now. I know cause I get to see a piece of something you love every day" Taehyun smiles. "And without this sickness, I'd never met you right? So if anything, I'm thankful for it. I'm thankful that I'll die knowing that I've met someone that makes me smile with my heart, that give me courage to speak and that makes me feel wanted for who I am. I'm happy that I'll die of the flower that's protected in your heart" Taehyun finishes.

But as he looks at Beomgyu, the older is crying.

Hysterically.

Tears are streaming down his cheeks as he desperately tries to wipe them away. His eyes are shining red as his cheeks are puffy.

Even in this situation Taehyun can't help but think that older is the most beautiful he's ever seen him.

"I'm sorry Taehyun, I'm so sorry that I, I-" he breaks down crying again.

Taehyun knows.

The younger only looks at the older, scared that a simple touch might break him to bits and pieces.

No tears are falling down Taehyuns face but a small sad smile is hanging on his lips.

"I'm sorry that I can't love you!" The older finally manages to say as he grasps the covers tight, shoving it to his face.

The muffled crying fills the void in the room as small, small tears starts to fall down the youngers face.

_He knew._

But when the words left Beomgyus lips, he felt it for the first time.

The words piercing through his heart like arrows.

But he's _okey_.

Cause now he knows, he feels and he will die from it.

Like a rose bush, beautiful to the naked eye. Vulnerable. But dangerous to the touch.

Like love, you are gripping the flower cause of the beauty and the longing to smell the beautiful scent that you only got a hint about from someone else. But as you pluck it from the bush, you feel the sting in your finger from the** thorns** as a warm liquid starts to cover the wound. A wound that no one will see in the future but the small, almost invisible scar is still present where it once cut you. Forever stuck on you, just like that day in your life.

Just like love offers you a beautiful feeling alongside your lover, it cuts a small wound to your heart. It'll heal, but never truly heal the memory, cause it'll forever be a part of who you were and what you felt. Cause it's a part of who you are.

Taehyun is happy that Beomgyu will be treated. But he knows that no matter what happens. His life will forever be locked to death, and the key to unlock it.

**Lies in Beomgyus hands.**


	8. White Daffodils

_"Wait!" _   
_"Please wait!"_   
_He's running further and further down the dark tunnel. "Please slow down, I need to talk to you!". The boy stops and looks over his shoulder with a dying smile hanging on his thin lips "Don't be scared I'm there soon" his voice is sweet and calm. His eyes shine with hurt and sorrow, a regret hiding in the corners of each one of them._

_"Why?" the words leave his lips before he can process the words. _

_"Because I love you, I'm coming for you _ ** _Beomgyu_ ** _ don't be scared" _

A loud gasp leaves Beomgyus lips as he wakes up!  
Panting he sits up to look around and finds out that to his relief he's alone. He breaths out in relief.  
The same dream has been hunting him for weeks now, but who is the boy he's chasing in those dreams?  
The boy has a handsome face, big beautiful eyes that he finds himself longing for every second of the waking hours. His voice is enchanting and sweet, a voice he remembers hearing before whispering to him "it'll be alright".

Still panting, the boy puts his bare feet down on the cold concrete floor. It's getting colder and colder in the little room he's been locked up in.

He's not dumb, he knows that something bigger is going on. PUMA sounded cool at first but he's slowly coming to terms with the fact that it's a dangerous game to be playing.

Beomgyu stands up and slowly walks toward the small bathroom he's been given. Every step feels heavier than the other.

Entering the small light up room he splashes his face with water, cold sweat still lingering on his pale skin. Looking up from the sink he's met with the reflection of a broken boy.   
Skin pale as snow, dark circles creating a vision of sickness and dry pale lips.

Putting his fragile hands on his cheeks he lets the tears fall.  
"I don't even know who I am anymore" he whispers with a husky voice followed by more tears.

He lets his hands fall to hug himself for comfort. His body is tearing itself down, and he gets thinner and thinner for each and every day.  
They are feeding him, but not enough, just enough to keep him alive.

Drying his face he walks back into the dark room with his bed.

The room doesn't have a lamp, all that is lighted up in the room is light coming from the small bathroom. He sighs and walks over to the bed again.   
_I wonder how Yeonjun is doing... I wanna see him..._  
Tears start to roll down his cheeks once again.  
**_"Because I love you, I'm coming for you Beomgyu don't be scared" _**  
The sentence rings in his head again.

Recently Beomgyu hasn't been coughing up much petals, but it's weird because the petals are not always Yellow carnations. Sometimes he has been met by one or two white daffodils. The petals are extremely beautiful and he enjoys the surprise. He doesn't understand who the petals symbolise but as they say, _the flowers burning your heart with fire is a symbol of the light you'll shine to warm others._ The boy must be such a heartwarming person, a sweetheart to the hearts that's in need of warmth.

Beomgyu coughs once the thoughts start to process and in his hands land a beautiful white Daffodil knot.  
"If you're coming for me, please hurry" he whispers to the flower in his soft palms.

\------------------------------------------

"**_Taehyun_**"

_He's running down the dark tunnel, he can see the hospital bed in the light in front. "Please slow down, I need to talk to you!" he hears the beautiful tunes come from behind him. But he knows It's not his Beomgyu, he saw it in those empty numb eyes. Beomgyu doesn't remember Taehyun, he is not calling for him but the boy running. _

_Tears sting his eyes at the thought, they emptied Beomgyus eyes from that wonderful shine that glittered in them even in the darkest of moments._

_But he needs to save him, Beomgyu might not remember who he is but he refuses to see him wither away with the petals filling his knots. He has to save him no matter what. _   
_"Don't be scared I'm there soon" he lets the words leave his lips and end it with a sad smile._

_"Why?" _

_Yeah, why? He needs to save him or else he'll die. But he knows that the real reason is slowly blooming along with the stinging poppys in his heart._   
_"Because_ ** _ I love you,_ ** _ I'm coming for you Beomgyu don't be scared" _   
_and with that he runs into the light._

"**Taehyun**! Wake up!"

Taehyun opens his eyes in a fast blink and sits up instantly to vomit out the poppys that's stuck in his throat. Sana reacts and provides him a bucket to fill.  
"Omg Taehyun I thought you were dead!" Sana shouts at him as he still struggles to breath properly.  
She rubs encouraging circles on the younger's back as he finishes.

Breathing heavily Taehyun asks "What happened?"   
He earns a glare as a reply. Taehyun blinks a few times to signal that he really doesn't know.  
She sighs "Taehyun you had petals filling up your whole mouth and throat, even your nose. You weren't breathing!".  
Once again he blinks, but not from confusing. He was on the verge of death.

"I'm sorry..." he whispers.

"Why? What do you have to feel sorry for?" The reply ends up more passionate than Sana had meant and it makes Taehyun avert his gaze. "Taehyun it's not your fault for having to fight this life. You never chose to become a PUMA or a part of a PUMA pair. You did nothing wrong" Sana breaths. She brings her hand up to Taehyuns chin to put his eyes on her again. "It'll be alright okey?" Sana says with a small smile lingering on her lips providing hope to the younger boy.

"I just wish that I would have done more to make Beomgyu stay here and not go to that other hospital..." Taehyun says in a husky voice.

"You should never think 'what if' Taehyun, you know your soulmate better than anyone else he would have gone either way" Sana counters.  
Taehyun scoffs.  
"It still feels weird that we are soulmates and that our lives are linked together stronger than any other... I just wish I knew this before..." he says as he fiddles with the covers, a sad smile hanging visibly on his plump lips.  
"I know but we will get him back, okay?" Sana smiles at him and he nods.

The room is in a comfortable silence until the sound of the door carefully opening interrupts it. Taehyuns eyes go instantly to the boy in the door opening and he can feel the tears sting his eyes. Sorrow and happiness filling his heart.

**"Kai?"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think!?
> 
> Also; Why is Kai visiting Taehyun now? What changed his mind to visit his hanahaki sick best friend fir the first time in months after ghosting him?🤭
> 
> SEE YOU SOON!

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll try to update this book as soon as possible!  
Until then😉


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